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Oh, that's right, we have a word for that: War.

Kat Von D and “Jackass” stuntman Steve-O have declared their affection for each other.

A few days ago I was relaxing with girlfriends, who also had young sons, and we started talking about our battle scars, war stories and uplifting tales about dating and loving in today’s world.

When I sit back and reflect now, I realize what was at the heart of those laugh-worthy; cry-worthy and … Garcelle has been super busy the last couple of months.

In the Senior Black People Meet community, online dating for older singles is comfortable and simple. I mean, I knew the language (everything is problematic because of our suffocating, heteronormative patriarchy) and I was pretty clear on the third-wave message (don't be a tool), but I was ignorant on many gender-defined issues.Here are the biggest lessons she's schooled me on.Boys are taught that they have to be strong; that they can't cry; that they have to tough it out and hide pain.As a result, boys wind up (also thanks to movies, music, sports, and advertising) using anger as a catch-all response. Seriously though, we each have our strengths and weaknesses and we don't let gender determine them. Don't ever tell my fiancée that she can't do something.

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About a year ago I reached out to Coach Cass for some love advice having had lost faith in the ability to find that one person we all search for.

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