“I believe the 80/20 rule is a very consistent part of reality, and that bringing our expectations into alignment with reality is healthy,” says Green.
Even if you do believe in the idea of a soulmate, not even your physical, mental, and spiritual ideal can possibly stand up to the stringent list of demands we all tally in our heads while dating.
In your imagination, you can create and improve on your desired relationship until it meets your highest ideal.
Once you have that ideal image in your mind, replay it over and over, until one day you will find yourself actually living it.
We know that carrying this kind of baggage will sabotage our love...
read more In a famous Seinfeld episode, Jerry dates someone just like himself.
By understanding and following this simple rule, you will be empowered to attract a lifelong partner.
And yet most of us have been hurt, perhaps badly hurt, and those scars can make it extremely difficult to trust again.A scarcity mentality will squeeze the life out you and it will keep you single—and I rarely meet...read more TRUST is the secret sauce of all relationships.Sounds great, but from a psychological standpoint, is it a good idea to practice such a rule, or should we all be holding out for the 90/10 relationship, or the 95/5 relationship, or whatever the magic formula may be?And what counts as being OK for the 20 percent imperfect part?
I tapped Hannah Green, a Bay Area psychotherapist specializing in individual and couples therapy, to find out more.