Eliot), is a remarkably self-explanatory phenomenon: place yourself in close proximity with an oversized, dangerous feline, pick up your phone/camera, raise your arm to the heavens and say “Cheese!”, whilst keeping fingers, limbs and other extraneous bodily parts crossed in the hope that your chosen beast is not currently ravenous.With news last week that the New York State Assembly had passed a legislation prohibiting the infamous “tiger-selfie”, internet daters throughout Britain and the world were sent into hairball-induced panic about the aesthetic future of their dating profiles.For some unknown reason, it has become rife amongst the male internet dater to believe that by presenting himself up close and personal with a big cat (customarily of the stripy variety) it will vastly increase his sex appeal and desirability to other singletons. In the wise words of a much beloved and well known tiger, how on earth will potential lovers sense that you are GRRRRRREAT if you are sans tiger-selfie?In the middle of my swipe-fest, Tinder intervenes with the electronic equivalent of a chastity belt. It appears I am too promiscuous for the most notorious hook-up app in the land. Even the ones with aggressive amounts of question marks.Even the ones who don’t know when to use capital letters or the difference between there, their and they’re.The premise of Tinder is that you are presented with an array of pictures of single folk in your vicinity; one can define one’s own vicinity from a range of 0-160km depending on how many fish one wants to catch. You then have the power to swipe ‘yes’ or ‘no’ depending on whether their visage tickles your tackle.
She was one of the top students in her grade at a competitive Manhattan private school. “My whole family’s good at sports,” she said breezily.
There is in fact an entire blog dedicated to ‘Tinder Guys with Tigers’, a site "documenting the absurdly large number of dudes who have taken a picture with a tiger and are attempting to use said picture to woo women on the internet". For those of you not familiar with Tinder, you are the lucky ones; it is a dating service app which acts as an Argos catalogue of cleavage, six packs and selfies.
I’m still deeply in mourning for the loss of the catalogue so I use it here tentatively in this analogy.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of an i Phone must be in want of a swipe.
One of the most annoying things about being single is that your married friends often accuse you of being picky, as if there was a whole world of soul mates out there, not just one. SUNDAY It’s day one, I’m an hour in and I’ve already swiped right on 80 men, most of whom would have been definite left swipes. Tinder is my favourite way of meeting men, precisely because you don’t have to talk to the ones you’re not attracted to.
Paul Cook first met Steve Jones at Christopher Wren Secondary School in Shepherds Bush.