Soon, I was spending hours in the parallel universe of cyberspace, often through wonderfully wide-awake nights, uninhibited in a way I never could be in reality.
I told no one, immersed and isolated in my secret life. In moments of fleeting clarity, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Was it just my marriage problems, or was there something deeper causing me to behave that way?
Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.
First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.
Unless he informed you or gave you the chance to participate in these activities, it was not an honest act on his part.
He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying.
Less-Than-Fun fact: homosexuality was outlawed and punishable by death in the UK by wife-murderer Henry VIII and continued to be illegal until 1967. A., anyone accused of being a "sodomite" doing "buggery" was also legally sentenced to death as of 1776.) Coded words, female names and other signals in personals were channels to privately expressing vulnerability and find companionship that society forbade.
During this time, gathering sites for gay men known as Molly Houses were subject to regular raids by law enforcement. 1727: Women Get Smacked Down for Expressing Personal Desire In 1727, Englishwoman Helen Morrison became the first woman to place an ad in a Lonely Hearts column.
Consider the following statement from a 41-year-old married man (all citations are from to cheat—something that may even add spice to their offline relationship.Before the Internet, there were personal ads, and before that, lonely shepherds carved detailed works of art into tree bark to communicate their longing for human contact.Since the earliest days of mass media and technology, people have been finding ways to broadcast their desires and find connections that might have otherwise eluded them.When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.
A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.