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Though being aware of the specific dating questions can definitely help you identify what a woman's priorities may be, it isn't nearly as important as understanding the intentions beneath them.

Women have two personal reasons for getting together with men: the external benefits and the internal benefits they receive. Really, it's the feelings underneath the benefits that women are ultimately after.

The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.

But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.

A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward . Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames.

All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely. It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society.

Because you're aware of what they're really doing, you give yourself the power to define the dynamic of your relationship rather than letting her do it — which is what happens if you don't recognize where these question are coming from and how to deal with them.

Things to note: Please DON’T send a list of questions in a personal email.

You’ll make your potential suitor think they’re interviewing for a job! ” is probably not going to get the kind of answer you’re actually looking for.

Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.

In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.

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