And no, you can't change your type to become a match up, however you can change your attitude to patch up few problems, but the core of the problems won't go away. Zoidberg I too am an ESFj/p female who dated an INTp male for a couple of years. INTjs welcome the ESFj's attempts at opening them up, INTps would tend to find the ESFj's approach annoying. I seriously cannot imagine at all how a INTp - ESFj relationship would work out.
The relationship started out very positively, we both found each other's qualities both interesting and inspiring, in fact it was probably the most romantic time I've ever had in any partnership. Perhaps it could, if you guys don't get close to each other, then again, it defeats the purpose of a relationship. He tends to drive me insane at times and half the time I can't understand some of the things he says or does...
How does it work and can any of us ever change enough so that we can become a match up?
ENTJ would make more sense, because to my understanding, NT's in general are positive for INTP's, though Keirsey believed that the best type for an INTP was a ENFJ and I've seen many references saying ESFP is the best type.
And the other ESFJ I know likes my ESTJ friend too. And there aren't a lot of jealous feelings either, because you feel like you can take on all rivals because they give you confidence, unlike with an ENTJ where you just feel stunted when other people are around. There was a time when I was going around typing everyone, up front asking questions to get a type code, specifically looking for an ENTJ, didn't tell them that at the time of course.
This corresponds to the Socionics description but that's my experience. And there was this girl called Gillian and she came out as ESFJ and I kind of dismissed her, despite her being a really nice person.
ESFJs have dominant extroverted feeling (Fe), while INTPs have inferior Fe.
INTPs have dominant introverted thinking (Ti) while ESFJs have inferior Ti.
I'm ESFJ female dating with INTP male, which is claimed to be my conflicting partner.