In this kind of compromise, you acknowledge the partner's inferiority compared to you or to other people, and this is very painful and insulting for both of you.I was 21 years old when I drove from Texas to Colorado with my friend Christie to attend the wedding of a friend from Japan. Unbeknownst to me that very evening my future husband sat across the dinner table from me.The Single Dating Diva, an award winning blogger, dating coach, and author from Ottawa, Canada, joins our show today.She offers a fascinating and unique insight into the mind of a savvy dating woman.At the reception we discovered with delight that the bride’s mother had arranged to seat all the single people at the same dinner table so we could “mingle.” “Who knows what might happen? It wasn’t long before we began a long-distance courtship, got engaged, and then married.
Can such awareness be tolerated, and can it be avoided? The comparative value of the partner "Comparison is the death of joy.” Mark Twain In his excellent book, Passions within Reason, Robert Frank tells the following story about a woman who asked her colleague the following question: "Why is it that the people I fall in love with are never interested in me, whereas the ones who do fall in love with me are never the one I care about?
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" Her colleague replied: "You're an 8 constantly chasing after 10s, and constantly being chased by 6s." How could this woman know that she is an 8 and not a 7 or a 10? Once you evaluate your partner to be inferior to you in an overall manner, you are faced with making a profound romantic compromise in terms of the partner's value as a person who exists independent of you.
This evaluation might also be made by other people and the results might be compatible, as they often are.