Knowing when to work at a relationship is a bit of minefield. Should you stay because it’s better than going back out there and starting over?
If you stay, should you just wait to see if things get better in time? Should you keep talking about the issues in the hope that it triggers understanding, remorse, resolve to change, and subsequent action?
Over the past few years it seems that almost every dating dilemma I hear from my coaching clients and girlfriends has something to do with the texting. He told her how busy he was and she felt flattered that he was keeping in touch.
Texting and dating definitely isn’t just for 20 year olds anymore. “Melissa” stayed up until 3 AM texting with her dude. She wants to know how to stop obsessing over him being The One.
These women are all dating after 40…some in their 60s and 70s. They had one date three weeks prior, and since it’s only been texting. Texting has certainly complicated dating and relationships.
He quickly deduced that she was the appropriate height (finally! First I texted four friends who travel and eat out a lot and whose judgment I trust. Finally I made my selection: Il Corvo, an Italian place that sounded amazing. (It only served lunch.) At that point I had run out of time because I had a show to do, so I ended up making a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich on the bus.
Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.
If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?
So, it becomes a mutually parasitic relationship; both mom and son are afraid to be independent of each other.
In essence, your guy has become his mom's pseudo-husband, and consciously or unconsciously, he likes the importance of this role.
The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission.