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By Tracy Achen If you are thinking about dating during divorce ... You may think that you are free to start a new relationship once the decision is made to separate or divorce.

But it is wise to hold off on the dating scene until after your divorce is finalized for a number of strategic, legal, and emotional reasons.

Lois De Socio is a journalist with 30 years' experience writing for newspapers, magazines, and websites.

One of the most common temptations people fall for when a relationship is ending is the desire to find a new love - Often these people have been unhappy and missing love, companionship and sex for a longtime, and so there's a real pent-up, unmet need for love.

Related: Why I Love (and Respect) Cougars There is, though, an emotional purgatory most couples need to work their way through before the final decision to end a marriage is made: the separation. As much as I wanted to shout out "Hey, that's really, seriously [email protected]" I sort of understood where there was room for reasonable reticence on their part.

Related: Is Playing Hard to Get a Turn ON or Turn OFF?

Three years ago, when I was 56, I suggested to my husband that he move out of our house in New Jersey. As he was settling into his new apartment in Manhattan, he called. We would stay separated for a year and, somehow, together, figure out this whole thing.

Sometimes, emerging from a divorce, it takes a while for things to add up. We pledged that we would always be friends, and our family would survive. After a few minutes, as we were about to hang up, he told me that he was "seeing someone.""Seeing someone." Two words that splintered my head into speechlessness, followed by a dizzying internal stream of, What about "Our family would survive"?

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He may try to even the score by fighting about custody of the children or how to split the marital estate.

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