In her book, “Presence,” she looks into the subtle yet powerful ways our behavior can influence our thoughts and emotions (think: a runner after they’ve finished a race with their arms raised high above them versus a person with their legs and arms crossed before a job interview.) Cuddy argues that we feel most powerful when our bodies are expansive. It isn’t something you’ve either got or you don’t – it’s something you can work on.” So maybe trade in the stilettos for Stan Smiths on your next date.
You've seen the headlines in your newsfeed: 8 Proven Tricks to Strengthen Your Marriage, 10 Traits Your Ideal Soul Mate Should Have, 36 Questions That Will Make You Fall in Love. And we’ll admit: The idea that following a formula or writing a checklist can help you find your one true love sounds pretty awesome.“Relationships and love are incredibly complicated and can bring with them uncertainty, so it can seem safer to follow a blueprint,” says Melody J.
Or maybe a partner’s allergies compelled you to live without pets and now you’re ready to romp with a fellow dog lover. Factors that loomed large in the past—good looks, financial success, whatever—may pale in the present as you acknowledge the importance of a partner who is kind and supportive, or one who is funny and entertaining. If you’ve become a bit, er, casual in the weight, wardrobe or grooming departments, now’s the time to ratchet up your game. So actively encourage them to think of you as a single, eligible person.
In short, grant yourself the freedom to gravitate to a whole new kind of person. Visit a salon or barbershop and ask how you could best update your hairstyle. Everyone’s circle of close friends is necessarily limited, however, so mention your quest even to those you don’t know well.
Even when expected, the death of a partner is a shocking heartbreak.
The world-renowned researcher first got women Power Posing in bathrooms all around the world with her TED talk, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are, and now ten years after the original study, she says we should be power walking.
“It’s been proven that walking meetings improve your mood and lead to better communication, engagement and problem solving,” she explains. Cuddy spent the first date with her now-husband walking around Paris for two days, as opposed to sitting eye-to-eye in a cozy café. You’re free to move your body and take up more space than if you were sitting down.
Seek out a clothing consultant or personal shopper — someone who can advise you on a flattering look and help you pick out items to achieve it. Research shows that many opportunities come through our “weak ties,” or people we know largely in passing: hairdresser, chiropractor, a neighbor’s visiting sister—even your seatmate on a flight! Most well-known dating sites have a large contingent of “seekers” in their 50s, 60s and 70s (and some in their 80s and even 90s), and several reputable sites are now completely free.
It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering.