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“So I’ve been taking lessons and I’m getting really good.I feel that it’s a new day and anything is possible.” Remember, it’s never too late to learn something new—in fact, it’s what keeps us feeling young.Dating when you’re over 50 puts you in a whole different category.The baggage is not so much Louis Vuitton, more like a supermarket plastic bag with holes in it.There are a myriad of reasons why this is true, but I’ll focus on a few and offer suggestions on how you might avoid becoming a cautionary tale and become a hot prospect instead….

In my experience as a psychotherapist of 35 years, I have helped thousands of men and women of all ages jump into the dating game (not to mention enjoy it immensely! Giving yourself a goal to strive for can do wonders for your attitude.It seems to me that lots of middle aged women get divorced and stay single. And, older men have interest but that isn’t really fair either. I would like to know your thoughts on the likelihood of 50 year old women finding a second life partner. It’s really funny that I would get this email from you, wondering about dating over 50. Because I’m turning 50 in 6 months, and I’m recently single again. I have had some issues while shopping for clothes in recent years, because all the clothing out there either seems too young or too old for me. again.” The slash between happiness and marriage clearly indicates that you equate happiness and marriage, and that’s something I definitely don’t do. I would ultimately like to be married again (I think) but anyone who reads this blog should know by now that I don’t feel marriage brings happiness unless you wait for the right person and/or the right time. I might just be feeling sorry for myself but it seems to me that a 50ish woman is somewhere in no-man’s land for a future relationship. So, I guess what I’m trying to say in response to your asking my thoughts on the likelihood of a 50 year old woman finding a second life partner is: I HAVE NO CLUE, I’ll let you know when I find out? Perhaps this same attitude applies when it comes to dating. I equate happiness with: children, family, career, fun and surrounding myself with people I love and enjoy, whether that involves romantic love or not. The last thing I will tell you to do is to slow down and don’t panic. I may be generalizing but do you see the same thing? If in your 40’s, it seems OK to me to date guys in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s. Guys in their 30’s are definitely out, guys in the 40’s might work, but they might want women in their 30’s or 40’s, guys in their 50’s definitely want girls in their 30’s or 40’s, and guys in their 60’s are just too old. Being new at this, I’m going to go for just being my Gosh darn self and if someone wants to date me, great, and if they think I’m too old, then so be it. It’s all about believing you have a lot to offer someone, which I do.

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In fact, nearly 60 percent say they make better decisions about compatibility now compared to when they were younger. Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self.

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    Steve

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