The Signs of Depression and Common Reactions First, let’s cover the signs.If your date or your partner is depressed, you’ll see: sad mood; a negative or hopeless outlook for the future; eating too much or too little; crying out of the blue; loss of or low energy; sleeping too much or too little; indecisiveness; and social isolation or withdrawal.Men with depression experience this, but it tends to be more intense for women because they ruminate on it rather than seeking distractions.This sometimes makes small issues transform into big stressors.For a bad depression phase, the average episode often lasts six to eight months.When you find yourself in a relationship with someone you realize might be depressed, one of the most common reactions is to take the depression personally.If your girlfriend becomes depressed, for example, understand that something is happening in her brain on a chemical level that even she can’t totally control.When you date a woman with depression, build a relationship and fall in love with her, her illness does not seem like a huge obstacle.
Keep reading to learn what issues are more likely to surface when dating a woman who struggles with clinical depression and how you should handle them.
Being depressed and having depression are very different. Do not suggest that it's because I "don't exercise enough," or "don't think positively," or "don't drink green juice," or whatever the hell you think might be the cause of my depression. If I'm in a bad place, for instance, my energy levels and sex drive will be low. Not only does it mean I have the energy to do it, but that boost of seratonin and oxytocin will put me in an even better one.7. And being on said medication doesn't mean I'm throwing-mystery-meat-at-the-wall, giving-the-State-of-the-Union-Address-to-a-chair "crazy." 7 out of 10 Americans take prescription drugs, and I am one of them, and let's all juuuust chilllllll. It also doesn't mean I'm "numb." I'm sorry, is Zach Braff a medical professional or an authority on anything at all besides maybe getting away with rich-person Kickstarting his shitty indie movies? Depression isn't ~**~r Om An Ti C~*~*~* or glamorous or an indicator of True Artistic Genius the way some (dumb) movies and/or books will suggest it is. not cleaning your apartment for a month, not doing laundry for two, never washing my hair until bats start nesting in it, and crying a lot.11.
Specifically, the difference between "My boss yelled at me at work today, ugh" and "My brain is an imbalanced chemical cocktail poorly mixed by a bartender-in-training."2. A goddamn spiritual pep talk about why a legit mental condition I have is basically my fault because I don't bow and murmur "Namaste" to the mouse that lives under my fridge in the winter every night before bed is not gonna get you laid. You have one (1) free pass to make that mistake early in our relationship, but that's it. In the winter, for instance, there will be very little sex unless you're cool with me just lying in the fetal position and doing it in the harsh glow of a therapy lamp. I can't always explain why I feel how I feel, so talking through the feelings like a normal couple might is sometimes twice as frustrating. If I am trying various medications, I might seem weird for a couple weeks, but it's just a phase until I find the right one. If you stick with me through the low points, I'll be the best and most loyal girlfriend you've ever had. I'll be like the golden retriever of girlfriends.14.
We’re fine with explaining how it feels to you, but it’s really not our job to educate you on mental illness and what causes depression. I don’t cry 24/7 and I doubt that many depressed people do. We know it’s not a big deal that we’ve lost our socks. It’s just our depression muddies up any excitement or joy we’d usually feel. So don’t assume we’ve magically cured ourselves of depression because we’ve told you we’ve been fine for the last few weeks. Actually expressing that we might need medication is deeply, deeply scary.
And it can get frustrating dating someone who just can’t seem to get their head around it or – worse – ‘doesn’t believe’ in being depressed (IT’S NOT A UNICORN, IT’S A MEDICALLY DEFINED ILLNESS). Don’t doubt us if sometimes we’re perfectly happy and able to get on with things, then can’t get out of bed the next day. But we’re still going to cry and hate ourselves for it. Listen to our entirely illogical explanation for why we’re upset and help us through it. Sometimes we won’t react the way we’re supposed to when you do something lovely or something amazing happens. You casually mentioning any negative opinions on anti-depressants doesn’t help. Missing out on a job can push us into a months-long depressive period. But that doesn’t mean we can’t handle the truth or rubbish things happening.
Here are a few tips: This is most important, which is why it's number one.