As my mother's hair-dryer voomed into life in the kitchen, I was to be found in the living room watching Cilla on Blind Date, contorting myself on the couch (emphatically not a euphemism), often upside down, a combination of ever-stretching limbs and rising hormones making it impossible for me to sit properly and at peace for any significant length of time.
Just before my mother left our house to enjoy a lorra lorra laughs with her friends she always came into the sitting room to give me a quick reminder of her maternal affection: a peck on the cheek.
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Fortunately, a doctor equips him with an electronic device that allows him to see the world like a bad ’80s video game.
The female contestants would always deliver their quips with a saucy giggle and a Timotei-style flick of the head, while the men would deliver theirs in a spirit of such oily slickness that Greenpeace would eventually have to be called in. In 'weather' or not you’re going to choose me, of course. I'll take you to Cloud 9.” At this point the audience would woop and ahhhh so loudly that time would cave in on itself, and Cilla would link hands and dance on stage with a chorus-line of dinosaurs and Mongol warriors.
Here’s a little reminder of a typical Blind Date exchange: FEMALE HOT SEAT CONTESTANT: “Contestant 3: If you were a cloud... ” MALE CONTESTANT NO 3: “Well, my friends would definitely tell you that I'm a very... Once in a while, a handful of audience members would smile so enthusiastically that they actually exploded.
That's rather apposite, because Blind Date was undoubtedly the light entertainment equivalent of a peck on the cheek: nice, wholesome, earnest, comforting, and always leaving a faint but pleasant impression.
Each week on the show, three grinning imbeciles were asked fluffy and meaningless questions by a contestant who was perched behind a partition, in reply to which said imbeciles recited a series of quips so cheesy they could be garnished and served as starters in a French gastro pub.
Despite his initial feeling that he should not be in Black's place, O' Grady said he was reassured by her family and friends that she would have wanted him to be doing it.