My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy.
He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman.
Support for interracial dating and marriage has been on the rise for decades, and Millennials are particularly accepting: 88 percent of those surveyed by Fusion last year said they were open to dating outside their race.
But the reality is that only 54 percent said they had actually done so.
I like to think of myself as someone who’s adventurous when it comes to love and sex, someone who’d never rule out potential partners or new experiences.
But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men.
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People interact with that monster in various ways, including ways that reinforce white supremacy.I tried to deny it, but when I thought about my dating history, I realized that my friends were right.While I may flirt or develop friendships with other Black gay men, I’ve never seriously pursued a relationship with one.I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.
My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.